As Told By Cho Chang
by Emmeline Delacour
Summary: A story about Cho Chang's 6th year, Harry's 5th year. Deviates from the fifth book in that I want Harry and Cho to end up together and that I want to explore Cho's feelings, story, & problems.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the HP characters (obviously) and Su Ling is the name of a character from The Princess Diaries but I wanted an Asian name I wanted Cho to have an Asian friend.  

Also, this is my first fanfic.  So yeah, if it's bad, sorry.  I wanted to write something less plot-based than most fanfics because I think that it's interesting to read about the character's feelings about everything or anything.  And after reading the part where Hermione tells Harry about what Cho was going through, I knew that Cho's feelings would be rather interesting.   

As Told By Cho Chang 

By Emmeline Delacour

Chapter 1 

A tear dripped slowly down my face.  

After a while, the tears made a path like a meandering stream, sometimes going straight down and sometimes zigzagging.  They're moving very fast, I thought to myself.  Stupid, I told myself; you're crying really hard, that's why.    

I hate it when tears gather at the corners of my mouth.  I hate it when my eyes get so red and puffy.  When people come up to me and ask me if I'm alright.   

When I'm obviously not.  

D'you know what happened to me? You don't know anything about my grief, my love...you don't know anything about me.  

In everyone's eyes, I'm just a pretty girl who dated the cutest boy in the school.  But I'm so much more.  

Cedric's face came into my mind again and what it felt like when we were dancing together.  It was like a dream, one that you never want to wake up from and when you finally do…it's like life isn't worth living anymore because you were so happy then that nothing mattered but that other person.  These thoughts stabbed me in the stomach like daggers and tears came to my eyes again.  

But they might not understand.  They don't know what it's like to lose the love of your life like I did.  I've got to stop crying, but saying his name and thinking about him always makes it worse.  He was killed by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named at last year's Triwizard Cup.  The memory still hurts a lot.  People shouting repeatedly, "He's dead! Cedric Diggory! _Dead_!"  

It was like how I always picture an earthquake—with the shockwaves spreading from the epicenter.  Or whatever it's called.  Girls were sobbing.  I guess I wasn't jealous because I was too shocked.  

Marietta, Emma, and Su Ling had been there and when I started crying they hugged me and told me that it'd be okay.  The next few days were like a bad dream.  Nothing was right and I still couldn't believe that Cedric would be gone forever.  I guess I still can't really believe it.  Never thought that I'd have to deal with anything like this at such a young age.  I'm _sixteen_.  At this age, people go to parties, talk to friends, and they're so alive that death doesn't mean anything to them.    

They wanted me to see his corpse and I did.  It wasn't that scary.  I thought, no, even wished that maybe they give his body to me…and how that would be fine and we'd be together, but then I realized how crazy I was.  I was insane during those first days.  

*Sigh* Thank god for my friends.  Marietta, Heather, Emma, Su Ling, and Rachel are definitely the best friends any girl could ask for.  Thinking about them, I wiped my eyes and stopped crying.   

But it's a new school year, I told myself.  I'm going to be a sixth year and this year is going to be good.  It'd better be, I said under my breath, as I walked to my desk to write some letters.  My mom knocked on the door and told me that my Hogwarts list of supplies had come in.  This year better work out, I repeated in my head.       

A/N I know that this isn't really telling a lot but it kind of sets the mood and background for the story.  Actually since most people know what happens w/Cedric, I guess it's more of establishing Cho as the narrator and a mood for the story.    


	2. Marietta's Change

A/N If you read this, it'd be really nice if you could leave a short review…leave constructive criticism.  It annoys me when people leave a review saying, "This is such an awesome fic" because even thought that's nice it's so generic and says very little.  I don't really have any right to complain because I have only 1 review (*runs off to a corner and cries*) but that's just a general comment I want to throw out there.  In regards to my fanfics, any comments (good, bad, constructive or not) are desperately welcome.  And…here's chapter two where I introduce Marietta and Heather.  And Cho on being Asian.   

As Told By Cho Chang 

Chapter 2: Marietta's Change          

***

Mum, Dad, and I went to Diagon Alley to buy stuff for school.  Truthfully, I was just depressed.  My parents tried to cheer me up in the beginning, but now I think they've finally figured that I needed to be alone to get through.

My family is pretty rich.  We're Asian, too.  Most British Asians are Indian because India used to be a British colony but my family is Chinese.  Wonder what it's like being one of few Chinese kids in Hogwarts? Don't get me started.  It sucks.  A lot.  If I could change things, Hogwarts would be a lot more racially diverse.  

When other kids see me they think what, a Chinese British girl? How strange.  And when they find out that my family is really rich (my parents both work for the Ministry) they're even more surprised because having a rich person who's a minority is weird.  British people are very much into tradition.  And even though they aren't racist, they have a certain pride for those of Angle-Saxon descent.  Britain isn't like America.  

I've heard so many things about America and I've always wanted to go there.  Especially New York City because I really like the idea of the crowds or people of all different skin colors and hair colors.  And the hustle-bustle of a city that never sleeps.  The beautiful skyscrapers and Central Park! And all the stores, museums—gosh, there seems an endless amount of diversions.  London is such an old city compared to the cosmopolitan city.  

But you know what's ironic? Even though I'm Asian, I'm considered popular and pretty.  Guess who asked me to the Yule Ball last year? Obviously Cedric, but also Harry Potter.  Yes, the boy who lived.  He asked me after I had agreed to go with Cedric.  Life is pretty funny, eh?

Anyways, I went to Marietta's house.  I said 'bye to my parents and stuff.  They wished me a good school year.     

Marietta, or Mary, as we sometimes call her, and I have known each other since first year (She's in Ravenclaw with me) and we're okay friends.  Funny thing is, she's not that smart but she's in Ravenclaw.  So the Sorting Hat does make mistakes.  Marietta is really pretty, though.  She's got curly, red-blonde hair, green eyes, and she has a sweet face.  I guess I don't respect her that much for her intellect but more for her good looks.  Good-looking people like hanging out with other good-looking people.  I mean it's no different from how purebloods hang out only with other purebloods.  Or how popular kids hang out with other popular kids.    

Mary's not the same person that I knew for so many years who I always could talk to.  I had helped her with homework and her endless boy problems.  But last year something happened and then afterwards we could never talk to each other the way we used to.  

Something came between us.  She had a major crush on Cedric.  Huge crush.  All she talked about was him.  His achievements, his looks, his kindness to her.  And there was something between them and apparently they had gone to Hogmeade together.  And he had invited her to the Yule Ball.  But he changed his mind and asked me but Mary never forgave me I guess.  

I thought that our friendship was strong enough not to let a guy come between us and I guess it's okay because it has survived (Mainly because Marietta's other friends didn't help her with her homework).  She changed at the end of last year though and became very self-centered and she just didn't seem to care about anyone else as much.  Heather and Emma said it was because she needed to reaffirm her worth.  

But I don't care about her self-centered attitude as much as the obvious fact that Mary simply hates me for going out with Cedric.  When I think about it nowadays, I wonder whether she wanted me to refuse him so that she could go with him to the dance.  Not only is that extraordinarily selfish of her but also, love just doesn't work that way.  I most certainly think that her anger is completely unjustified.  

And I think that now she's just going by her emotions instead of thinking logically about things.  She is still angry at me for "stealing" Cedric.  But he's been dead for months; it doesn't matter anymore.  Why can't she forget about it?  And if she thought about it for a while, she'd realize that being friends is definitely a plus for both of us.  Even though I think that she has no right to be angry with me in the first place, I think that we should have made up by now.     

Our friendship (if you could call it that) was never quite the same after that incident.  It was broken in so many ways I couldn't count them.  I realized last year that I never really liked her for her but rather as someone who I could sort of "mother" and take care of.  I really didn't appreciate her as an equal but instead, a younger child.  In this same spirit, I came to her house to fix things.  I wanted to help her, as I always have.

I rang the doorbell of their modest London flat and Mary opened the door.  Her sparkling green eyes spied me and she smiled a little.           

"Hey Marietta," I said.  

"Hi, Cho," she replied.  

"I _have_ to introduce you to this guy who I think I'm absolutely in love with," she said.  How insensitive when I the guy that I'm in love with is dead.  Perhaps she's trying to highlight that? And it's always about her.  Oh well, I guess she didn't change over the summer.              

"You didn't tell me about it in your letters," I said, feigning interest.      

"I only met him last week," she said lightly.  She has a new crush every month or so.  I suddenly felt exasperated.    

"What's his name?" I asked.  

"Michael Corner.  He's two years below us and he's in our house." 

"He's a 4th year then.  I dunno…does he have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah, Ginny Weasley.  She's a 4th year, too."         

"Tough luck, girl." 

"I bet I can get him to like me," she said, grinning.  I was starting to get annoyed at her.

We talked for an hour but it was such empty talk that I was utterly bored.  She gossiped and I listened.  But I couldn't really care _less_ about what she had heard from her other friends at school.  It was so pointless.  

I never brought up what I wanted to talk about—which was our friendship.  I have to have it out with her.  I didn't care if we'd scream horrible things at each other or never talk to each other again because of what was said but I didn't want to keep my feelings inside.  I wanted to tell her that she was being stupid and that while guys come and go, friends stay forever.  That _I wanted to be her friend_.  I hate that girls keep everything bottled inside, like it was impossible to put those feelings out in front of others.  Like girls are too sweet and good for saying such vulgar things.  But what does it matter if you have these thoughts anyways? 

Marietta hates me, I thought.  She really does despite that smile she has on her face.  And for a moment I hated her because she couldn't see her own stupidity and she was hurting me.          

The doorbell rang and Heather came in.  

"Hey everyone," said Heather brightly.  "What's up?" 

It was silent.  I knew that that it would be awkward because Heather and Marietta used to be good friends before the Cedric thing happened.  Heather and I had remained good friends and now Marietta probably felt like she wasn't welcome.    

"Going back to school…" I said, breaking the silence.  "Why do we have to go back to school? I'm so sick and tired of working my arse off all the time!" Heather and Marietta laughed.  They both knew that I always try my best on everything.  

"You don't have to work so hard," Marietta drawled.  

"Yeah," Heather added.  "Be boy-crazy like Mary all the time.  Then you don't care about grades and just dream about boys all the time in class.  Doodle their initials and stare at them."  We all giggled like we were having fun even though we all probably wanted to be somewhere else.  Girls are so good at giggling.  Whoa, there were way too many g's in that sentence.  

Heather's just awesome.  I love her most of all my friends.  She's in my year in Ravenclaw, blonde, funny, gorgeous, sweet, relaxed and spunky.  She's smart too but she's doesn't like to flaunt it like some girls in Hogwarts.  *Cough* Hermione Granger.  And me.  And some other Ravenclaws.  

"Heather, I got your last letter," I gushed.  

"Awesome!" she said.  

"What?" Marietta butted in.  "What did you do during vacation?"  I was surprised that Heather hadn't kept in touch with Marietta.  But she doesn't feel obligated to be nice to Mary like I do.  She's so truthful and I can always talk to her about anything.  I'm probably going to ask what I should do about Marietta soon as we're out of Mary's earshot.    

"I went to the United States.  Hawaii," said Heather.  "That was the coolest vacation I've ever been on.  It was totally awesome.  I saw Americans.  Hula dancers and blonde surfers.  There were a lot of native Hawaiians as well.  And it so sunny and nice, not like England.  And I made lots of friends when I was there too."

"Oh," said Marietta, either jealous or not amused.  

"Girls," Marietta's mother called.  "Time to get going to King's Cross.  We don't want to miss the train."  

We shouted that we were coming but then Mary had to put on her mascara because it smeared a little.  Vain silly girl, I thought.  But so are you, I thought to myself.  I'm such a hypocrite.  I sat down and waited with a disgruntled look on my face.  But Heather, forever good natured, offered to help Mary though she refused her help.  

I came to her house to try to fix things but sometimes people can't get over things and move on.  It pisses me off.  I'm so angry now.  I feel like crying because I'm just _right_ but it's ever so hopeless.  Cho Chang, the smart and pretty Ravenclaw, doesn't know what to do.  I guess it might shock some people, but it's happened a lot.  Ever since Cedric died, I've never been sure of myself as I was when I could talk to, kiss, and hug the boy who loved me.  Losing someone you loved dearly had made me so emotional and unpredictable.               

I can't talk to Marietta about it because girls just _don't_ do that.          

And we're on a London bus, sitting next to each other, smiling as if everything is all right again like it used to be.  I look out the window to stop myself from thinking anymore about it.     

Why do these things have to happen? Why do people have to do stupid things?

Why doesn't she see that I'm right and she's wrong?

Why can't I change anything?


End file.
